I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

kathryn atkins

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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