Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

no

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is not fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops