A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops