What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Girls Lacrosse.

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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