Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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Sex vagina. lol.

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Canadians

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops