A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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Replacement Referees

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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I like doodle. XoXo Jamie

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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meh

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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