You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops