What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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