A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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My wife made me a sandwich

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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