Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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I <3 Hitler

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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