How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops