There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

no pun intended

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black student graduated High School

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops