Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Jesse gets so many ladies

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What happen? Idk...

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS 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ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS A

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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A Muslim walked into a bar. He didn't drink anything

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why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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