What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

Women's Rights

What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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