So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops