A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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