(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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My penis is big... not.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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GONNA

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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oh hai

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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