A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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