What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

Homosexualism is so gay man

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

I grunt when I poop.

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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