what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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