What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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How did th-A fridge.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Raveena Thandhan

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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