A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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