Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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Burp

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

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Anthony sucks

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What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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