Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -10

who cares wats behind the green class door people cant be in it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

thumb_up thumb_down -10

two cannables walk in to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops