My penis is big... not.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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I'm hungry.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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hi bye

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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