What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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Autism speaks but not really

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops