Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

thumb_up thumb_down +31

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A possesed goat: "moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops