Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

Romans rights.

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

What did the sign say? It said slow down

God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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