What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

Of course, first door on your left

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

Knock knock. Racism.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

Trashcan!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

"33"

What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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