What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A handicapp walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

shut up kobe!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock *opens the door*

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops