How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

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Hey Shea

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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Whats the same about Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler They are both comedians

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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fruit salad?

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Bloody kids ...

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She said no

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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A homosexual walks into a church

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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