Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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matty russel are you on here

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knock knock who's there aids

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Penis.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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Your mom.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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7

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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