So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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Your biggest fan.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops