What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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Ju... Just why?

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Ron Paul for President!

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer really isn't that important.

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

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hi

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

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Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops