Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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