- Anti Joke

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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