Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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My Nan, that is all.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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your mom.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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