roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Hello.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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