Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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