Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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