What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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A women left the kitchen.

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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