Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

Vagina Boob

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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