So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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123 f*ck off

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops