Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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