What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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