I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

What is green and is not grass A frogg

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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