what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Your big dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops