while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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