How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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no.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops