What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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