Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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