What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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like if your cool

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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69.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops