Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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