A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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