question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

joe galasso from plainview ny

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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