When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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