Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

Want to hear a joke? No.

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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