What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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