There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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