Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

How old are you? 7

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

Read a Book.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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