A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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womens rights

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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