What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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