How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What's just not right? Left

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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