How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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the WNBA.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops