my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops