Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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One, two, three, four and five

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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