Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You're so sweet I have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man? Rob

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops