Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jesus Christ

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops