Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Penis

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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