What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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